The Long Haul is Ahead of Us

So as many of you know, Sean and I have decided to start the adoption process. We know that we could try to achieve pregnancy with donor eggs at a very high cost. After talking about this in great length, we have decided it would be too hard on me and him if anything were to happen and I were to not take or miscarry. So, like we have discussed many times in the past we have decided to proceed with adoption. This is something that has always been on our radar. We heard about a pair of siblings that were in foster care and we wanted to jump on that as soon as we could. Our ultimate goal was to keep them together and to provide them with a loving forever home. The application, questionnaires, and packet was submitted. Classes are scheduled and we were so excited about the process being in full swing. Sean and I were researching like crazy and making sure our house would be 100% ready for the upcoming home study. We were notified that a family member has decided to take in one of the children, so we could only proceed with adopting the girl. It was confusing, but we still wanted to proceed with it. I can't even begin to tell you all how much support was pouring in from all directions. It warms our hearts to know that so many of our friends and family wanted to help and support us in this journey.

Unfortunately, I did receive an email last Friday, telling us that they were not going to move forward with this homestudy and foster-to-adopt. I'm not gonna lie, I was absolutely heart broken. We were excited and ready to start this part of our life and welcome either both or one child into our home and family. I had already set up her room and got her pre-enrolled in school. I was a work when I got the email and as soon as I saw those words "unfortunately we have decided not to proceed" I felt my heart sink. I instantly felt sick and shaky. My heart was so in this and I was so excited. You couldn't do anything to bring down my mood. The news hit me hard and I couldn't stop crying. What made it worse was others knowing we were in the process. I know what you are thinking.. how does that make it worse? Well just as I was starting to calm down and feel like I could continue working, a friend at work said, "How is the adoption process going, when are you gonna get her?" I broke down and ended up asking to go home early. I walked home and used that time to breath and calm down. When Sean got home we talked about what to do now and where to go from here. We have decided to continue with everything, hoping to get a newborn so that we can have all of those amazing experiences of parenting a child from birth and beyond. This should be fun trying to figure out all of the steps necessary and finding an agency or lawyer to help us with the process.

What makes this even more difficult is the whole military aspect. If for any reason Sean has to deploy or leave, it will set us back even more. Classes and homestudy must be complete with him in person before anything can continue. I am hopeful that we can get as much done as needed before "duty calls" but who knows for sure. We would appreciate prayers and positive thoughts being sent our way while we navigate through the process of adoption. This will be an adventure for sure, hopefully it is filled with more happiness than devastation. But I am sure we will encounter many more bumps along the way.

Until next time,
Nicole